Evolution

I went to Mass today at noon at the college chapel. The Gospel for today talked about the pain we have to go through to achieve joy. It said something like, "After the anguish you feel now, joy will overcome you, like when a woman gives birth -- she goes through tremendous pain but after her child is born, she is so happy that she forgets about her pain." And the Gospel ends with the line that says something like whatever we ask from God, He delivers. (Did I get that right? I can't remember very well.)

Anyway, the priest (Fr. Dacanay -- short-homily extraordinaire) says in his homily that sometimes, we become sorry whenever we get what we asked for from God because it usally doesn't end up how we want it to. Then he goes on saying that what usually happens is that God doesn't usually give us what we want, but what we truly NEED at that moment.

Yes, I already know all that Fr. Dacanay had said & I could attest to its truth. I have personally experienced having given something that I had prayed for, only for it to end up being something temporary. It really hurt, feeling that I was cheated. How could I possibly be happy about having to let go of such a beautiful gift -- a true blessing? But as I thought about it, maybe the reason why it was given to me was because I really needed it at that moment, & the fact that it was temporary was maybe because I didn't need it anymore, that it had already served its purpose.

Although now, I don't think I've completely lost that gift. I feel that it still exists, but in a different form. So technically, I still have it, just not in its former state & is probably serving a different purpose.

I just hope that I had been a gift myself.

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I hear your voice;
I see your face;
I feel your touch;
I taste your lips --

In the stillness of morn,
In the dullness of moments,
And in the nothingness of night.

Is my heart still with you?


Love is so short, forgetting is so long. -- Pablo Neruda