Friday, June 02, 2006

What Now? Part 2

I just read Bea's recent post about life after graduation. It got me thinking about my own situation again.

I received two e-mails from two different organizations hiring fresh graduates. Having been fortunate enough to come from a prestigious university, I just realized how lucky I am to be able to literally sit & wait for opportunities to come to my doorstep. There are a lot of people out there who NEED to get jobs for their families but couldn't because the good jobs are reserved for people like me. Sometimes I feel that I don't deserve all of this. I probably don't. But those people out there who've been looking for jobs since forever to provide for their families don't deserve that kind of hardship either. It's just not fair. It's not fair that I get several opportunities to pursue my crazy ideals while there are others who cannot even afford to HAVE ideals. That's not right at all.

One e-mail was from a Fortune 500 company. Well-established, pays well, great benefits. They're looking for someone to work at Human Resources -- something that I have a lot of experience with in my college organization. It's also a bonus that I took a Training course as my Psych elective in senior year. Although I have some aptitude for this type of work, I don't feel that it's a job that I'd love & would fight for.

The other one was from an NGO aimed at public education. Still young but pretty established, have no idea if they'll be paying. They're looking for a Communications Officer or something like that. I like people. I love being with people. I communicate well with all kinds of people. Plus their cause is something that I'm very passionate about. BUT they want a sample of a written work. Back in grade school, I was told that I wrote well, but definitely not the same case in recent years. Maybe I write good formal letters, which is something that I have quite an experience with, but other than that, I have nothing Palanca-Award worthy to submit. And I don't know how to make posters using Photoshop.

The question in one of my previous posts still stands: WHAT NOW?

I thought that things would be clearer to me once I've graduated. I've planned it all out before even graduating from grade school. Amazingly, everything went according to plan, right up to graduation day last March. Now that it's all finally over, I'm quite surprised at how clueless I really am to dealing with the world, the REAL world. I've always seen myself as sensible, responsible, adaptable, a girl with a good head on her shoulders. But during my four years in college, I've come to know about the scared little girl inside me, afraid of trying out & doing things on her own, afraid of being alone. I guess I've still got a lot more growing up to do.

Life is ALWAYS more complicated than we think. I'm just glad that we learn something new about it every now & then.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

21 Names

Nakaw again from Nanan (ito ang gawain ng mga unemployed haha!)

Can you name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people. Don't changethe names you've written once you start answering the questions. Ready, Start!

1. Nono 2. Nanan 3. Beatot 4. Michee 5. Bea s. 6. TJ 7. Kia 8. Lota 9. Francis 10. Benj 11. Bodi 12. Cheenee 13. Cla 14. Vianx 15. Ruthie 16. Nicolo 17. Matts 18. Rica 19. Koonce 20. Teehankee 21. Rai

1. How did you meet 14? ACIL
2. What would you do if you never met 6? mabubuhay naman siguro ako.. probably one good friend less.. naks!
3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? why not?! tapos kami naman ni Lota wahaha
4. Did you ever like 5? syempre, best friend ko yan eh. haha
5. Would 4 and 12 make a good couple? ay. micheenee. hahaha!
6. Describe 8: loka-loka, jologs, marunong makinig, creative, intelligent, masipag
7. Do you think 13 is attractive? aba oo! lahat ng friends ko attractive! haha!
8. Tell me something about 17: masarap kasama sa tawanan -- kabag ang aabutin mo!
9. Do you know any of 4's family members? met her kuya once. *drool*
10. What's 21's favorite color? blue
11. What would you do if 18 just confessed s/he liked you? sabi ko nga ba bakla ka eh. haha!
12. what language does 20 speak? Tagalog. English.
13. Who is 9 going out with? 8. e mag-asawa na yan eh. haha!
14. What grade is 16 in? senior year college
15. When's the last time you talked to 13? wow. tagal na!
16. What is 2's favorite band? Eraserheads -- With A Smile! Doo-do-doo-doooo!!
17. Would you ever date 7? naka-ilang dates na kami nyan, even before Benj. haha!
18. Would you ever date 12? why not? MemRel rules!
19. Is 15 single? hmm. di ko alam. hehe
20. What is 19's last name? Santos
21. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 11? iba gusto nya eh. haha!
22. What school does 3 go to? e graduate na sya eh
23. Where does 15 live? bicol!
24. What's your favorite thing about 10? mahal nya si Kia! yikee!
25. Have you seen number 1 naked? ay. skandalo ito! wahahaha!!

Ateneo Cross-List

Nakaw (na naman) kay Nanan at kay Lem:

(x) eat at Manang’s (liempo, donut, biko)
( ) learn the alma mater song (school spirit! wahaha!)
( ) get on the dean’s list (huhu)
( ) sleep on a bench
( ) be a TNT!
( ) jog around the campus in the evening
(x) visit the art gallery (once)
(x) know at least one xerox lady (ate alma, ate jenny, ate evelyn, ate imelda)
(x) get a Jesuit for a teacher (Dacanay forever!!!)
( ) itch from higad bites (i survived!)
(x) have gotten an F in something (curse you, Math 12!)
(x) have taken a crap in school
( ) watch a La Salle vs. Ateneo UAAP game (sa TV ba counted? wahehehe)
(x) give a powerpoint presentation
(x) study in the caf (iba talaga pag cramming na)
(x) watch a T.A play (parang nakanood ako. di ko lang matandaan kung ano.)
( ) sit on the SEC ledge and watch the stars
(x) eat in Full House, Martha’s Kitchen, and Ken Afford (sara na yung full house and martha's nung 1st year kami)
(x) sleep in the lib (pag nagpapakanerd)
( ) visit Mr. San Andres
(x) go to the chapel
(x) have gotten a pebble stuck in your shoe/slippers in the middle of the quad (lalo na ngayon!)
( ) cut class with your block to watch a movie
(x) sign up for those institutional (i.e. difficult but brilliant)(Dacanay rules!)
( ) go to CERSA night
(x) have tried siomai rice
( ) learn how to smoke
(x) fall in love (talaga lang ha? haha!)
( ) actually read the book you keep borrowing from the lib
(x) play cards during your free time (sa ACIL ako natuto ng pusoy dos!)
(x) dress in business attire (wretched orals & defense)
(x) learn to stay awake for more than 24 hours straight (mornangs galore!)
( ) have gotten side comments from ASSOC
( ) take (and enjoy) Saturday classes
(x) go to your immersion
(x) eat Food for Thought sandwiches (wheat bread, salami, lettuce, egg, tomato! Nanan's Special! haha!)
( ) get a boyfriend/girlfriend again (hmm. haha!)
(x) take time to read the vandalism in the CR doors
( ) watch "Minsan Lang Sila Bata" and "Macho Dancer" for class (high school pa)
(x) do a last minute paper
(x) have spent a lot for 1x1 ID pictures
(x) get exempted from final exams (History 166 under Dr. Totanes)
(x) attend a college mass
( ) promise to quit smoking
( ) play hide-and-seek in the mini-forest
(x) know where the best restrooms are on campus (well, renovated na ang mga banyo)
(x) join an org (go ACIL!)
(x) allow yourself to make mistakes
(x) take summer classes (make-up for my Math 12, practicum)
(x) admire the sacred heart statue in the evening
( ) make a video for a project
( ) have a crush on a teacher
(x) attend a Jesuit retreat
( ) have gotten a parking ticket
(x) come to school in your crappiest yet most comfy clothes (esp freshman year)
(x) learn how to use the Bayantel pay phones
(x) participate in school activities
(x) catch the Blue Babble Battalion tryouts (sa caf)
( ) date an Atenean
(x) ride a tricycle on campus
(x) find a tambayan painting room! (sa old ACIL Rm. sa now inexistent Colayco Hall)
(x) admire the marikina valley at night (from the LHS Titanic)
( ) go drinking along Katipunan
( ) learn how to beg for a higher grade
(x) use your cuts wisely (i barely cut class)
(x) volunteer to be class beadle (Theo 141 under Dr. Tejido)
(x) had the worst lottery schedule for reg
(x) admire the trees on campus
( ) have forgotten about your freecut and gone to that class
(x) eat in the ISO canteen
(x) be active in your org (iisa na nga lang eh, tatamarin pa ako. haha)
( ) have signed up on an ACP class just because the girl or guy u like signed up for it (once lang nag ACP)
( ) get as many app forms as you can during the job fair (di ko pinuntahan!)
(x) learn how to cram
( ) sell tickets (or watch) an org-sponsored movie premiere
( ) save money to Xerox all of your seatmate’s notes
(x) have accidentally seen a make-out session (di pa nga by accident yun eh haha)
(x) check out the Meron Lagoon and Lambingan Bridge
( ) have dozed off in class in Bel right after a class in CTC/SOM/Comm. Bldg or vice-versa
( ) learn how to work with groupmates from hell
( ) perfect the art of parking on campus
( ) had a bad encounter with one of the guards on campus
(x) develop a love for sisig
( ) learn how to pronounce "AEGIS" properly
( ) have used typing rooms at the library
(x) have reserved a classroom, AVR, etc. for a class or org function
( ) have asked the library for an endorsement to research in other libraries
( ) have lost a perfectly functioning umbrella.
(x) have used consultation hours properly
(x) Looked forward to lab breakage refund, in case you didn’t break any equipment
(x) visit the Guidance Office and Infirmary

What Now?

What have I been up to these past few weeks since I got back from the US?

1. gave out my pasalubong
2. helped around in the family business
3. watched a few DVDs (e.g. Constantine, The Virgin Suicides)
4. met up with friends
5. weekends with the family
6. bummed around the house
7. currently reading 'Wicked' by Gregory Maguire (which inspired the hit Broadway musical that I never got to watch)
8. ignored several job opportunities

Yes, I am guiltily avoiding getting a job. Guilty, because I haven't gotten around to being the responsible daughter that I am. Guilty, because I can actually afford to take a break while most people, some of them my friends, have been busting their butts at work a few weeks right after graduation.

No, I do not plan on being like this (a bum) all my life. I just feel that I'm in a point where I'm not sure which step to take next. Do I compromise my dreams & settle for an available job that I can easily do & would no doubt please my family? I'm just afraid that if I get into something so far from what I really want, I might not be able to get out anymore. So what's keeping me from pursuing my dream? The timing, fear of disapproval. Those kind of things.

Let's say the timing isn't right. What am I to do NOW? I guess that's what's really bugging me right now. No, I'm not bored with the stress-free conditions that I have set myself up with. I guess after all the things I have done to enjoy myself, the hype's settling down & I'm starting to hear Reality's faint knocking on my door to actual adulthood.

I'll probably answer it when I hear the doorbell. Until then, I'm just going to sit back, iPod on ears, & 'Wicked' in hand.