Sunday, June 20, 2004

I am a PSY-chick (pun definitely intended Ü)

You are Psychic!

What's Your Magic Power?
brought to you by Quizilla

My credits to Ms. Joyce Guerrero's blog for providing me with the link for this quiz.Ü

The inevitable doesn't scare me. It's the waiting that does.

Saturday, June 12, 2004

On Freud's Chair (An Independence Day Rant)

I admit that I have a bit of discrimination against obssessive-compulsive people. I think it's because I am normally not & it just irritates me how tight-assed people can get to the point when you become impractical & narrow-minded.

But lo & behold, after taking a big responsibility in our org, I noticed that the way I work & think is very much the thing I discriminate against. Probably not the impractical & narrow-minded part. I might even be too practical & open-minded that I won't keep still until the plan is fool-proof.

It got me thinking why I suddenly came to be like this. It's probably because this is the biggest responsibility I've ever taken in my life. I'm afraid of letting people & myself down on my first real "job". I guess the presence of a lot of OCs in our org also added to my anxiety while planning stuff. (Yeah, sure, blame it on the others. heheÜ)

Moving on, I was out with two of my high school friends last Thursday. For the most part, we walked around the mall just window shopping (because we didn't have much cash). Before we started all the walking, we had lunch & during that time, I had brought up the fact that I am a purposeful shopper, meaning, when I go to the mall, it's because I need to buy something & I already know what I'm going to buy. Still, we did the whole window shopping thing & I wasn't exactly too happy about it. One, because my feet hurt from all the slow-paced walking we did without ever buying anything to at least compensate for the pain, & two, because we didn't really get to catch up much because we were moving around. When we did finally get to sit down, I was too tired to talk. But hey, I did enjoy my brownie fudge Ice Monster!Ü (Yum! I want another one tomorrow!Ü)

In all honesty, I can't really say that I didn't enjoy my time with them. I mean, not hanging out with them for a year (or more than that, I can't remember) really made me miss their company a lot. Where else can you find friends with whom you can be yourself & change over time & still accept you & love you the same way? But you know, despite the childish complaining I did, I'm still so glad I got to be with them that day (I almost didn't). I really needed the break. I guess the three of us did. Being with them was like coming home...

Hinahanap-hanap kita Manila, ang ingay mong kay sarap sa tenga... -- Hotdog

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Night Cap

It feels so weird not having you around. It's not as if I had lived any differently now than I did before you came. I guess it just sucks how I'd have to go back to living that kind of life.

What sucks the most is having to go back to not being able to exude the day's dirts & rainbows before tucking myself in at night. I really miss ending the day with a smile on my face & with a lot more peace within myself.

I'm so tired of being alone, so hurry up & get here. -- John Mayer

Saturday, June 05, 2004

One Down, A Lot More To Go

Got my schedule for the semester. Lucky me, I got all the classes I wanted. I just hope I made the right choices.

That's one anxiety level down!Ü

The trip to Zambales was fun. Although there were parts of it that I didn't like or complained (a lot) about, I wouldn't mind doing it all over again. That's the truth.Ü

Org Tours is coming up. After that, Org Awareness Week, Colayco Afternoons Launch, Recruitment Week, Basic Orientation Seminar... the list goes on. But I might go out with 2 of my high school friends on the 11th. I need to breathe before the semester starts. I just hope that we do get to go out. I miss them a lot.

I'm lost. And I think I know just what I need -- REFOCUSING.

Me Against The World

Natututo na akong magkakanser. Natututo na akong magtimpi at kumimkim ng nararamdaman. Pero hindi ako masaya. Hinding-hindi.

I don't blame anyone for whatever I'm feeling. Duh... I made myself feel like this. Freewill, brothah.

I just noticed that I get pissed off more easily than before & that I've gotten colder toward people who have crossed me. I easily forgive but now, for whatever reason, I don't.

I'm almost always in the brink of breaking in tears. I'm feeling stressed, anxious, tired, & bitter. No wonder I'm getting old so fast.

I know that there are a lot of things to be happy about. Don't you just hate how stress & loneliness gobble happiness up almost instantly?

Damned weather. Damned hormones.

You can't get to know better days unless you make it through the night. -- Dianne Reeves