Zombie Days Are Here To Stay

I just want to rant about my schedule for the next few days:

Tomorrow:
PSY 112 (Thesis) Exam - Coverage: 9 chapters, the APA Manual, & the thesis guidelines.

Thursday:
PSY 113 (Abnormal Psy) Exam - Coverage: 3 chapters -- around 40-50 pages each.
HI 166 (Philippine History) Graded Recitation & Quiz - Coverage: 2 chapters.

Saturday:
PSY 112 (Thesis) Submission - Chapter 1 (revised) & Chapter 2 of thesis proposal.

Wait till I tell you what will happen in the weeks that will follow. Yes.

Oh, I'm at the library right now burning my brain cells. My eyes are strained. I just hope I finish studying. I don't know how I'm going to be able to deal with our thesis work with all these other requirements floating above our heads. Planning to drown myself in coffee tonight. I just hope I can stay up.

I have around 30 minutes left to study here in the lib till Vicente & Jaya end their classes. Back to work.

Lord, help us all.

Gastric Disturbance

50th birthday ng tatay ko ngayon. Dapat kakain kami ng hapunan sa labas pero inatake 'yung sikmura ko kaya hindi na kami tumuloy. Nakakahiya nga kasi alas-singko sumakit 'yung sikmura ko at walang naihandang ulam para dito sa bahay ngayong gabi. Bakit sumakit ang sikmura ko? STRESS.

Stress sa mga kailangang aralin at gawin para sa eskwelahan.

Stress sa masalimuot na sitwasyon ng ating lipunan -- sa gobyerno, sa mga nagpapahirap sa tao, at lalo na sa mga nahihirapan dahil sa kapabayaan ng iba.

Stress sa mga taong may magandang hangarin para sa kinabukasan ng bayan ngunit mali ang itinuturo at ipinapakita sa kabataan.

Stress sa mga taong hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganoon mag-isip at umasta pero kabalbalan lamang ang mga ginagawa at sinasabi.

Stress sa mga taong malabo ang paninindigan.

Stress sa mga taong walang paninindigan.

Stress sa "pagkawala" ng isang matalik na kaibigan.

Hindi pa tapos ang kalbaryo ko. Lintik.

Helplessness vs. Humility

My Friendster Horoscope for today:

You can huff, and you can puff, and you can blow someone's house down, but it may not get you what you want in the end. In fact, the stars can definitely guarantee that it won't get you what you need, either. Rather than letting your emotions run away with you, acknowledge that you have some very strong feelings on the topic. Once you do that, you may just see what the real answer to this conundrum is.

Do you sometimes hate the feeling of not being in control? When you can't seem to get what you want & need?

Hay. I don't want to continue this entry anymore. Too many emotions.

Feeling Kawawa

Narinig ko sa radyo nung Friday na break-up season daw ngayon. Gusto kong maniwala na hindi, pero parang totoo. Paano ko nasabi? Maraming ebidensya. As in.

May nabasa akong blog entry ng isa kong kaibigan. May karanasan sya na matagal ko nang gustong maranasan. Ayaw kong ikwento kasi baka makasuhan pa ako ng copyright infringement hehe. Pero bottom line, naramdaman nya na sobra syang special. Ewan ko ba. Minsan iniisip ko na I'm so hard to please. Tipong high maintenance person pero not in material & superficial aspects but more of emotional support yung kailangan ko. Hay. Basta, nainggit ako sa kaibigan ko.

May nasabi sa akin si Bro Art nung nag-uusap kami after ng Waterhole FS nung Friday. Di ko na matandaan kung ano yung pinag-uusapan namin pero nasabi kong lagi na lang akong tagapag-alaga pero walang nag-aalaga sa akin. Sabi nya, "Hindi naman kasi kailangang hanapin sa ibang tao yun eh." Medyo paraphrased na yun, by the way. hehe

Tama si Bro Art. Hay. Ewan ko. Akala ko I have a strong sense of self. Hindi pala. I just come out strong to most people pero sa katotohanan, 'pag mag-isa na ako, sobra akong needy. Siguro dahil perception ng karamihan na strong ako, pati ako naniwala doon. Big mistake, Chinky.

Ang dami kong pinagdaanan this past week na malamang may carryover to this coming week. Kailangang magpakatatag. Pero for now, dadaanin ko muna sa iyak.

Feel Good Song of the Moment

Let's Stay Together
by Al Green

I, I'm so in love with you
Whatever you want to do
Is all right with me
'Cause you make me feel so brand new
And I want to spend my life with you

They say since, baby, since we've been together
Loving you forever
Is what I need
Let me be the one you come running to
I'll never be untrue

Let's, let's stay together
Lovin' you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad
Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad

Why, why some people break up
Then turn around and make up
I just can't see
You'd never do that to me (would you, baby)
Staying around you is all I see
(Here's what I want us to do)

Let's, we oughta stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Veritas

"What makes us unhappy are the things that we try to impose on ourselves - those that we hold true even if they are obviously false in its entirity."

- Bro. Art Tangara, SJ

Citrus Fresh

HANGGANG KAILAN
by Orange & Lemons

Labis na naiinip
Nayayamot sa bawat saglit
Kapag naaalala ka
Wala naman akong magawa

Umuwi ka na baby
'Di na ako sanay nang wala ka
Mahirap ang mag-isa
At sa gabi'y hinahanap-hanap kita

Hanggang kailan ako maghihintay
Na makasama kang muli
Sa buhay kong puno ng
Paghihirap
At tanging ikaw lang ang
Pumapawi sa mga luha at
Naglalagay ng ngiti sa mga labi

'Di mapigilang mag-isip
Na baka sa tagal
Mahulog ang loob mo sa iba
Nakakabalisa
Knock on wood
H'wag naman sana

Umuwi ka na baby
'Di na ako sanay nang wala ka
Mahirap ang mag-isa
At sa gabi'y hinahanap-hanap kita

Hanggang kailan ako maghihintay
Na makasama kang muli
Sa buhay kong puno ng
Paghihirap
At tanging ikaw lang ang
Pumapawi sa mga luha at
Naglalagay ng ngiti sa mga labi

Umuwi ka na baby...

Stubborn Me

My Friendster Horoscope for today:

You excel at solving puzzles on your own, but right now, holding your problems in won't make you stronger -- on the contrary, it might deprive you of the help that's well within your reach if you could only make the smallest gesture toward it. Remember that asking for aid doesn't make you weak -- it makes you smart. So if something's been on your mind, grab a friend and pour out your troubles to their sympathetic ears.

Yeah, yeah I know. Avoidance coping na ito. I think the reason behind this is that I've become more selfish & that I don't want to face that change in me. If you think this is a recent issue, no. Matagal-tagal na rin ito.

Overdue [Still Waiting]

This was my Friendster Horoscope from July 30:

Today's Forecast
Right out of the blue, a romantic proposition will arrive -- an extremely attractive one. You'll be more than happy to accept the offer, and you'd be foolish not to. Be sure all parties concerned are honest.

The Bottom Line
There's a bunny rabbit who wants you to give them a bite of carrot. Be generous.

In Detail
Someone you've been amazingly fond of for some time will suddenly let you know that the feelings are extremely mutual. What should you do about it? Well, for starters, pick up your jaw and let yourself grin. Saying something appropriate wouldn't hurt, either -- something along the lines of 'me, too,' for example. You might also think of where to have dinner tonight. You'll need to keep up your strength if you're going to keep someone this startling entertained.

After almost a week later, nothing. Waiting waiting waiting.

Oh yeah, the new crush I was talking about in my last entry? Uulitin ko lang ang sinabi ko: I'm really attracted to men I can't have. hahaha Basta, yun na yun. Hindi s'ya elevated to stalkee status. hahaha

Yes, si stalkee. Ang kyut n'ya talaga. Sana magkaroon kami ng opportunity to know each other more. Hi at hello lang kami forever. Minsan hirit dito, hirit doon, pero wala. Ang babaw. Hay. Sadness. Sana talaga before I graduate maging friends kami at least.

Tama pala 'yung sinasabi sa psychology na teaching children to wait instills hope in them. May pagka-synonymous pala sila. Kapag sinabi sa 'yo ng isang tao na, "Don't wait for me," ang ibig n'yang sabihin, "H'wag ka nang umasa." Ang galing.

Masarap maghintay at umasa na matutupad ang gusto natin, pero nakakapagod.