Language[s] of a Lost Love

Awit ng Pag-ibig XX
Salin ni Virgilio S. Almario

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.

Maisusulat ko, halimbawa: "Mabituin ang gabi
at nanginginig, bughaw ang mga tala sa malayo."

Lumiligid sa langit ang simoy-gabi at umaawit.

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.
Minahal ko siya, at minahal din niya ako paminsan-minsan.

Sa mga gabing ganito, ibinilanggo ko siya sa aking mga bisig.
Ulit-ulit ko siyang hinagkan sa lilim ng walang-hanggang langit.

Minahal niya ako, paminsan-minsan ko rin siyang minahal.
Sino ang hindi iibig sa kaniyang malalaki't mga matang tahimik.

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.
Maiisip kasing hindi na siya akin. Madaramang wala na siya sa akin.

Maririnig ang gabing malawak, at mas lumalawak kung wala siya.
At pumapatak sa kaluluwa ang bersong tila hamog sa pastulan.

Maano kung hindi siya mabantayan ng aking pag-ibig.
Mabituin ang gabi at hindi siya kapiling.

Ito na ang lahat. May umaawit sa malayo. Sa malayo.
Hindi mapanatag ang kaluluwa ko sa pagkawala niya.

Upang waring ilapit siya, hinahanap siya ng aking mata.
Hinahanap siya ng aking puso, at hindi siya kapiling.

Ganito rin ang gabing nagpapusyaw sa ganito ring mga punongkahoy.
Kami, sa tagpong iyon, ang nagbago.

Hindi ko na siya mahal, natitiyak ko, ngunit minahal ko siya nang todo.
Hinahanap ng tinig ko ang simoy upang hipuin ang kaniyang pandinig.

Nasa iba. Siya'y nasa iba. Tulad noong katalik siya ng aking mga halik.
Ang kaniyang tinig, malinaw na katawan. Ang kaniyang matang walang-hanggan.

Hindi ko na siya mahal, natitiyak ko, ngunit baka mahal ko siya.
Napakaikli ng pag-ibig, napakahaba ng paglimot.

Dahil sa mga gabing ganito na ibinilanggo ko siya sa aking mga bisig
hindi mapanatag ang kaluluwa ko sa pagkawala niya.

Kahit ito na ang huling pighating ipapataw niya sa akin,
at ito ang huling mga bersong isusulat ko para sa kaniya.

¤---------------------------------------------------------------¤

XX Tonight I Can Write...
Translated by W.S. Merwin

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.


Translations of Pablo Neruda's 'XX Puedo Escribir Los Versos...'

¤SiGh¤

Pic taken by me at Picnic Groove, Tagaytay

21 October 2005, Friday

Happy 4th Anniversary of Love

Hazel & Francis

Idol ko talaga kayo.

¤SiGh¤

Don't Ask Why

List of my feelings at this very moment (in no particular order):

jealous

angry

bitter

envious

self-pity

disappointed

betrayed

restless

depressed

slightly hopeless

frustrated

Lord, kaunting tulong naman, please.

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want. And that's marriage - with the right person. You're serious about settling down some time soon. Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Lazarus

I MISSED YOU LUKE!!!Ü

Evolution

2nd Year, 2nd Sem

3rd Year, 2nd Sem

4th Year, 1st Sem

Hangad ko'y Patawanin Ka

Happy 22nd Birthday
Tristan Joel T. San Jose

Nagawan na kita ng testimonial sa Friendster kanina pero tinamaan ako ng Senior's Syndrome at nagkaroon ako ng short trip down memory lane. Natandaan ko na partners pala tayo sa Ballroom Dancing nung 2nd Sem during our freshman year. Tapos itong picture na ito, remember this? Social Psych class with Ma'am Bo Peep. Nagpupumilit magmukhang serious, hindi naman maitago ang kapilyuhan. hahaha! Cheers to you TJ!Ü

To-Die List

¤ Thesis Proposal Defense (tomorrow!)

¤ Abnormal Psychology Case Study (Thursday!)

¤ History Bonus Project (Friday!)

¤ Educational Psychology Reflection Paper (overdue!)

¤ Theology 151 Final Oral Exam (next Monday!)

¤ Educational Psychology Final Exam (next Wednesday!)

¤ Thesis Final Proposal (next Friday!)

¤ Abnormal Psychology Final Exam (next Friday also!)

¤ Philosophy 104 Final Oral Exam (next Friday pa rin! last exam!)

¤ ACIL Evaluation Seminar & Formation Seminar Preparations (super overdue! waaahh!!!)


At wala akong sem break dahil sa thesis work. Shet.

2003 Ü

Bago pa man tayo nag-ibigan, nagmahalan muna tayo bilang magkaibigan.

Oo, minahal muna kita bago kita inibig.

Ang Minsan ay Magpakailanman

Gaano Kadalas ang Minsan
by Basil Valdez

Gaano kadalas ang minsan lang ka mahagkan,
Sindalas na rin ng dami ng bituin waring walang hanggan.
Dahil sa labi ko'y laging mararamdaman,
Kahit sandali halik mo'y dumampi minsan.

Gaano kadalas ang makapiling kang minsan,
Sa kin sindalas ng walang wakas, saglit mang magpisan.
Dahil sa ganoong paraan lang mag-iisa,
Kung magsasanib ang dalawang dibdib di ba.

Ngunit(dahil)kung pag-ibig ay hindi rin lang wagas
Mabuti pa, mabuti nga, mabuti ang hanggang maaga'y magwakas
Pagkukunwari'y itago man ay lalabas
At minsan kang matuklasan hapdi'y walang kasing dalas.

Gaano kadalas ang minsan mo akong saktan,
Kahit minsan lang sa 'kin para bang walang katapusan.
Gaano kadalas ba ang puso'y namamatay,
Gaano kadalas, gaano kadalas ang minsan?

¤---------------------------------------------------¤

Minsan Lang Kitang Iibigin
by Ariel Rivera

Mahal pangako sa iyo hindi magbabago
Ikaw lang ang iibigin ko
Kahit ikaw ay lumayo at masaktan ako
Asahan na 'di maglalaho

Ang pag-ibig ko'y alay sa 'yo lamang
Kung kaya giliw dapat mong malaman

Minsan lang kitang iibigin
Minsan lang kitang mamahalin
Ang pagmamahal sa 'yo'y walang hangganan
Dahil ang minsan ay magpakailanman

Minsan lamang sa buhay ko ang 'sang katulad mo
Ako rin ba'y iniibig mo
Tupdin, puso'y sumasamo sumusumpa sa 'yo
Ikaw ang tanging dalangin ko

Voyeur

I am a mere spectator
To the beauty you are growing into.
All I can do is sit on my chair
As I watch you sing your melody.
I am moved by your song --
Its words, its hymn, its everything.
I watch you as you let the music escape from your lips
And reach into my soul
Like you have a thousand times before.

I am a mere spectator
To the minstrel you are becoming.
All I can do is applaud with the others
As I sit on my chair,
Silently wishing we can sing a duet.


Inspired by last night's Café Loyola & Norah Jones's "Those Sweet Words."

Before the night is done, I just have to hear those sweet words spoken like a melody.