What Now?

What have I been up to these past few weeks since I got back from the US?

1. gave out my pasalubong
2. helped around in the family business
3. watched a few DVDs (e.g. Constantine, The Virgin Suicides)
4. met up with friends
5. weekends with the family
6. bummed around the house
7. currently reading 'Wicked' by Gregory Maguire (which inspired the hit Broadway musical that I never got to watch)
8. ignored several job opportunities

Yes, I am guiltily avoiding getting a job. Guilty, because I haven't gotten around to being the responsible daughter that I am. Guilty, because I can actually afford to take a break while most people, some of them my friends, have been busting their butts at work a few weeks right after graduation.

No, I do not plan on being like this (a bum) all my life. I just feel that I'm in a point where I'm not sure which step to take next. Do I compromise my dreams & settle for an available job that I can easily do & would no doubt please my family? I'm just afraid that if I get into something so far from what I really want, I might not be able to get out anymore. So what's keeping me from pursuing my dream? The timing, fear of disapproval. Those kind of things.

Let's say the timing isn't right. What am I to do NOW? I guess that's what's really bugging me right now. No, I'm not bored with the stress-free conditions that I have set myself up with. I guess after all the things I have done to enjoy myself, the hype's settling down & I'm starting to hear Reality's faint knocking on my door to actual adulthood.

I'll probably answer it when I hear the doorbell. Until then, I'm just going to sit back, iPod on ears, & 'Wicked' in hand.