Updates

Halos isang buwan din akong hindi nagsulat dito. Bakit? Nakita n'yo naman ang schedule ko di ba? Pero kahit na mahahaba ang breaks ko, nakakain din dahil sa dami ng ginagawa: field work for thesis, ACIL Caroling practices, at ACIL Week activities. Siguro mabuting ilista ko na lang muna kung anu-ano ang mga nagawa ko over the past weeks. Sa tingin ko may mga nakalimutan na ako, pero susubukan kong tandaan.

1. Nanood ng 'Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire' at 'Prime' with my family
2. Nakapagpasa ng papel para sa Theology
3. Naging 'alipin' ng klase (class beadle) sa Theology
4. Tumugtog ng bamboo instruments sa Philippine Music class (e.g. tongatong, bungkaka, pateteg, kubing, saggeypo)
5. Nag-commute papuntang Batasan para sa thesis (dalawang beses na)
6. Nag-attend (at sana patuloy pa) sa caroling practices (na dating hindi ko magawa)
7. Kumanta sa harapan ng ACIL alumni sa College Chapel (dalawang beses)
8. Nag-IC kay Ma'am Rina ng CMO nang dalawang oras
9. Sumali sa 8-Day Retreat for Seniors na gaganapin sa Marso (pero hindi pa ako pinapayagan)
10. Pumunta ng Marikina kasama si TJ at napadpad ng Blue Wave Marikina para kumain ng pananghalian at mag-Starbucks (sa uulitin!Ü)
11. Nag-make-up class ng Sabado ng umaga (Pol Sci)
12. Nag-breakdown pagkatapos pa lang ng dalawang linggo sa eskwelahan
13. Nagpa-photocopy kay Ate Alma ng wroth P1,392.00 (!) para sa thesis
14. Nag-immersion sa Pangarap Foundation (Pasay-Taft) nitong nakaraang weekend

Kwento tungkol sa immersion sa susunod na entry. Abangan.

576: Lintik na numero ka.

Monday
830-930AM Politics & Governance
330-430PM A Theology of the Catholic Social Vision
430-730PM Training Administration Design

Tuesday & Thursday
12-130PM Research in Psychology II
430-6PM Philosophy of Religion
6-730PM Philippine Music & Culture

Wednesday & Friday
830-930AM Politics & Governance
330-430PM A Theology of the Catholic Social Vision


There's something wrong with this schedule.

Can you enumerate ALL of them?

Pampered

What I've accomplished so far since October 14 (last day of exams), in no particular order:
1. read Harry Potter 6
2. read Series of Unfortunate Events Book 4 (will finish Book 5 by this evening)
3. watched Carnivale Seasons 1 & 2
4. my last ACIL Form Sem (huhuhu)
5. started Christmas shopping
6. done thesis work
7. gone to see my grandma & my other cousins after a LONG time
8. gone out during weekends with my family
9. helped out in the family business
10. bought me 2 CDs: Alicia Keys Unplugged & Orange and Lemons!
11. got me a new 'do (finally!)
12. got me 4 new shirts from Bench (yes, Bench na naman haha!)
13. watched other DVDs (forgot the title of the movies)
14. got good grades from last semester! (sacrifice does pay off!)
15. got me a pair of closed shoes from Rockport (it was on sale! one thou bucks off! unbelievable!)
16. starting to learn how to use Photoshop
17. got my mom out of the hospital (whee!!)

Pending:
1. article for Ite
2. registration on Thursday
3. CLEAN MY ROOM (hahaha!)

Language[s] of a Lost Love

Awit ng Pag-ibig XX
Salin ni Virgilio S. Almario

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.

Maisusulat ko, halimbawa: "Mabituin ang gabi
at nanginginig, bughaw ang mga tala sa malayo."

Lumiligid sa langit ang simoy-gabi at umaawit.

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.
Minahal ko siya, at minahal din niya ako paminsan-minsan.

Sa mga gabing ganito, ibinilanggo ko siya sa aking mga bisig.
Ulit-ulit ko siyang hinagkan sa lilim ng walang-hanggang langit.

Minahal niya ako, paminsan-minsan ko rin siyang minahal.
Sino ang hindi iibig sa kaniyang malalaki't mga matang tahimik.

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.
Maiisip kasing hindi na siya akin. Madaramang wala na siya sa akin.

Maririnig ang gabing malawak, at mas lumalawak kung wala siya.
At pumapatak sa kaluluwa ang bersong tila hamog sa pastulan.

Maano kung hindi siya mabantayan ng aking pag-ibig.
Mabituin ang gabi at hindi siya kapiling.

Ito na ang lahat. May umaawit sa malayo. Sa malayo.
Hindi mapanatag ang kaluluwa ko sa pagkawala niya.

Upang waring ilapit siya, hinahanap siya ng aking mata.
Hinahanap siya ng aking puso, at hindi siya kapiling.

Ganito rin ang gabing nagpapusyaw sa ganito ring mga punongkahoy.
Kami, sa tagpong iyon, ang nagbago.

Hindi ko na siya mahal, natitiyak ko, ngunit minahal ko siya nang todo.
Hinahanap ng tinig ko ang simoy upang hipuin ang kaniyang pandinig.

Nasa iba. Siya'y nasa iba. Tulad noong katalik siya ng aking mga halik.
Ang kaniyang tinig, malinaw na katawan. Ang kaniyang matang walang-hanggan.

Hindi ko na siya mahal, natitiyak ko, ngunit baka mahal ko siya.
Napakaikli ng pag-ibig, napakahaba ng paglimot.

Dahil sa mga gabing ganito na ibinilanggo ko siya sa aking mga bisig
hindi mapanatag ang kaluluwa ko sa pagkawala niya.

Kahit ito na ang huling pighating ipapataw niya sa akin,
at ito ang huling mga bersong isusulat ko para sa kaniya.

¤---------------------------------------------------------------¤

XX Tonight I Can Write...
Translated by W.S. Merwin

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.


Translations of Pablo Neruda's 'XX Puedo Escribir Los Versos...'

¤SiGh¤

Pic taken by me at Picnic Groove, Tagaytay

21 October 2005, Friday

Happy 4th Anniversary of Love

Hazel & Francis

Idol ko talaga kayo.

¤SiGh¤

Don't Ask Why

List of my feelings at this very moment (in no particular order):

jealous

angry

bitter

envious

self-pity

disappointed

betrayed

restless

depressed

slightly hopeless

frustrated

Lord, kaunting tulong naman, please.

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want. And that's marriage - with the right person. You're serious about settling down some time soon. Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Lazarus

I MISSED YOU LUKE!!!Ü

Evolution

2nd Year, 2nd Sem

3rd Year, 2nd Sem

4th Year, 1st Sem

Hangad ko'y Patawanin Ka

Happy 22nd Birthday
Tristan Joel T. San Jose

Nagawan na kita ng testimonial sa Friendster kanina pero tinamaan ako ng Senior's Syndrome at nagkaroon ako ng short trip down memory lane. Natandaan ko na partners pala tayo sa Ballroom Dancing nung 2nd Sem during our freshman year. Tapos itong picture na ito, remember this? Social Psych class with Ma'am Bo Peep. Nagpupumilit magmukhang serious, hindi naman maitago ang kapilyuhan. hahaha! Cheers to you TJ!Ü

To-Die List

¤ Thesis Proposal Defense (tomorrow!)

¤ Abnormal Psychology Case Study (Thursday!)

¤ History Bonus Project (Friday!)

¤ Educational Psychology Reflection Paper (overdue!)

¤ Theology 151 Final Oral Exam (next Monday!)

¤ Educational Psychology Final Exam (next Wednesday!)

¤ Thesis Final Proposal (next Friday!)

¤ Abnormal Psychology Final Exam (next Friday also!)

¤ Philosophy 104 Final Oral Exam (next Friday pa rin! last exam!)

¤ ACIL Evaluation Seminar & Formation Seminar Preparations (super overdue! waaahh!!!)


At wala akong sem break dahil sa thesis work. Shet.

2003 Ü

Bago pa man tayo nag-ibigan, nagmahalan muna tayo bilang magkaibigan.

Oo, minahal muna kita bago kita inibig.

Ang Minsan ay Magpakailanman

Gaano Kadalas ang Minsan
by Basil Valdez

Gaano kadalas ang minsan lang ka mahagkan,
Sindalas na rin ng dami ng bituin waring walang hanggan.
Dahil sa labi ko'y laging mararamdaman,
Kahit sandali halik mo'y dumampi minsan.

Gaano kadalas ang makapiling kang minsan,
Sa kin sindalas ng walang wakas, saglit mang magpisan.
Dahil sa ganoong paraan lang mag-iisa,
Kung magsasanib ang dalawang dibdib di ba.

Ngunit(dahil)kung pag-ibig ay hindi rin lang wagas
Mabuti pa, mabuti nga, mabuti ang hanggang maaga'y magwakas
Pagkukunwari'y itago man ay lalabas
At minsan kang matuklasan hapdi'y walang kasing dalas.

Gaano kadalas ang minsan mo akong saktan,
Kahit minsan lang sa 'kin para bang walang katapusan.
Gaano kadalas ba ang puso'y namamatay,
Gaano kadalas, gaano kadalas ang minsan?

¤---------------------------------------------------¤

Minsan Lang Kitang Iibigin
by Ariel Rivera

Mahal pangako sa iyo hindi magbabago
Ikaw lang ang iibigin ko
Kahit ikaw ay lumayo at masaktan ako
Asahan na 'di maglalaho

Ang pag-ibig ko'y alay sa 'yo lamang
Kung kaya giliw dapat mong malaman

Minsan lang kitang iibigin
Minsan lang kitang mamahalin
Ang pagmamahal sa 'yo'y walang hangganan
Dahil ang minsan ay magpakailanman

Minsan lamang sa buhay ko ang 'sang katulad mo
Ako rin ba'y iniibig mo
Tupdin, puso'y sumasamo sumusumpa sa 'yo
Ikaw ang tanging dalangin ko

Voyeur

I am a mere spectator
To the beauty you are growing into.
All I can do is sit on my chair
As I watch you sing your melody.
I am moved by your song --
Its words, its hymn, its everything.
I watch you as you let the music escape from your lips
And reach into my soul
Like you have a thousand times before.

I am a mere spectator
To the minstrel you are becoming.
All I can do is applaud with the others
As I sit on my chair,
Silently wishing we can sing a duet.


Inspired by last night's Café Loyola & Norah Jones's "Those Sweet Words."

Before the night is done, I just have to hear those sweet words spoken like a melody.

Ode to my Non-existent Philo Paper

Pilit kong pinipiga ang aking utak
Upang mailabas ang mga salita
Na s'yang pupukaw sa iyong damdamin.
Maghapong lumipas na hindi na maibabalik pa
ang nagbabanta sa bawat hakbang ng oras --
Papalapit nang papalapit
Ngunit tila lumalayo nang lumalayo.
Lumilipad, tumatalon, umiikot, nawawala, bumabalik
"Heto na naman," ika nga ni Gary V.

Pagbigay Pugay

I would like to express my gratitude to those who helped me 'Vicky-Belo' this blog:

1. Bro. Ryan Echevarria, SJ: Dahil nakita ko sa blog mo na may links ka, nagtaka ako bakit 'yung akin wala. Tapos tiningnan ko 'yung template ng blog ko (kahit na wala ako'ng alam sa mga html chuva) at hinanap kung saan pwede maglagay ng links. At nakita ko rin sa pinakadulo ng blog mo na nilagyan mo ng quote, sabi ko, gusto ko rin, kaya hinanap ko rin kung saan 'yun. And voila! Meron na! Whee!!!

2. Nicolo Ludovice: Dahil nakita ko sa blog n'ya na iba 'yung nakalagay sa 'comments' part ng entries n'ya, tinanong ko s'ya paano ko mababago 'yung akin. S'ya rin ang nakaisip ng ipapalit ko'ng pangalan doon! Whee!!!

3. Hazel Nakpil-Castillo: Dahil nakita ko na may sitemeter ka (at si Bro Ryan) at tagboard, nainggit ako at tinanong ko kung paano maglagay ng mga ganoon sa blog ko. Faster than a speeding bullet ka'ng nag-e-mail ng instructions at sinabihan mo pa akong SMART to figure it out.Ü Yessss!!! hahaha

4. Matthew Dy: Dahil sa pag-recommend mo ng tagboard site, napadali ang paglagay ko nito sa aking bloggie. Tama ka nga, super one-two-three magic lang s'ya gawin! Bibidibobidiboo!

5. Jong Figueroa: Dahil nakita ko sa Friendster account mo 'yung John Legend video, pinuntahan ko kaagad 'yung site at kinopya ko rito at pati sa Friendster account ko. I had to adjust the video player size though kasi masyadong malapad 'yung original size ng video player para sa sidebar ko rito sa blog. Buti na lang din at madaling sundin ang instructions sa pag-resize kundi sabog na ang itsura ng blog ko. hehehe

Oo na. Gaya-gaya na ako. Hahaha!

I was born to love deeply.Ü

My Friendster Horoscope:

The Bottom Line
Get ready -- those flirt-filled conversations will finally add up to something real.

In Detail
Are you postponing taking that next big love step because you're afraid? And are you afraid because everything's not 'perfect'? The stars tell you to snap out of it and stop asking yourself, 'What if?' or you could talk yourself out of a situation that may not be 'perfect,' but is actually perfect for you. You were born to love deeply, so embrace an adventure that has the potential to change your life for the better.

Napangiti ako ro'n, ah.Ü

Just wish it would happen sooner.

One of the Boys

I realized last night as I recalled all the significant 'men' that have come into my life was that a great majority of them are or were seminarians. Yes, religious, aspiring-to-be-priests folk. I would like to blame ACIL for this. Then again, I have always been one of the boys, even considering the fact that I graduated from an exclusive Catholic Chinese school for girls. Maybe it's because there are 3 guys in my family & that I have many guy cousins. Maybe it's also because I came from a co-ed school before transferring to the exclusive school. Maybe. Maybe.

One of the first people I became close to in college was my male blockmate, Ryan. Though we don't talk to or see each other as much, we still have that great brother-and-sister banter we got so used to having.

There's also TJ. We don't have the same relationship as I have with Ryan but I can say that we're pretty good friends. He's more of a PG-13 as opposed to Ryan who is a definite R-18. hahaha

My ACIL male friends are a combination of TJs & Ryans, which is a good mix, & is probably one of the reasons why I have good relationships with them.

Then there were the seminarians. First wave: San Jose Seminary boys. Had crushes on some of them, I admit. (Sa kaunti ba naman nila, I'm sure you can guess who they are. haha) I still recall the late nights I would spend with them, either going out for a movie, or eating & sight-seeing at Riverbanks, or simply talking the hours away while lounging on their 'Smoker's Pocket Garden' overlooking the Marikina Valley. Those were the times... Just for the record, I don't go there anymore, save for that one time last month when we reviewed for our Philo exam.

Second wave: Jesuit Scholastics. There was Nono, the two Ryans (Kalbo & Rai), & Bro Art. For some weird & inexplicable reason, I have an ease in sharing my heart & soul to these guys. Not just that, I feel comfortable with them to the point that I barely see their 'religious' side. This still puzzles me up to now.

The constant presence of the seminarians in my life suddenly made me think that maybe they're the reason why I still do not have a boyfriend. Yes, a far-fetched hypothesis. (Guys, don't kill me for this. hehehe) Nevertheless, I'm quite blessed to have those seminarians as my friends. Like I told one of my ACIL friends, I would want to have my first drinking session with my Jesuit friends, since I have no idea of how I am when I'm drunk, at least I know that I'll be safe with them. Right guys?Ü

Anthem

Kwarto
by: Sugarfree
¤ Thanks, Rai!Ü ¤

Maglilinis ako ng aking kwarto
Na punong-puno ng galit at damit
Mga bagay na hindi ko na kailangan
Nakaraang hindi na pwedeng pagpaliban

Mga liham ng nilihim kong pag-ibig
At litrato ng kahapong maligalig
Dahan-dahan kong inipon
Ngunit ngayo’y kailangan nang itapon

Di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
Kaya mula ngayon, mula ngayon

May jacket mong nabubulok sa sulok
Na inaalikabok na sa lungkot
May panyong ilang ulit nang niluhaan
Isang patak sa bawat beses na tayo’y nasaktan

Alaala ng lumuluhang kahapon
Dahan-dahan ko na ring kinakahon
Natagpuan ko na ang tunay kong ligaya
Lumabas ako ng kwarto’t naroon siya

Magpapaalam na sa 'yo ang aking kwarto


¤ Wish ko lang. ¤

Deadline

Tumatakbo
By: MOJOFLY

Laging bigo laging sawi sa pag-ibig
Minamalas o kay sakit
May balat nga ba ako sa pwet
Mabuti pa ang tindera sa aming kanto
Nakakainggit TL ang sweet nila ng
Kanyang nobyo
Gusto ko lang maranasang umibig
Tamaan ng kupido
Gusto ko lang maranasan ang langit
Tumibok muli ang puso ko

Tumatakbo ang oras naiiwan na ako
Ng panahon
Di na nagbago bawat araw pare-pareho
Parang kahapon

May birthday cake ka nga
Ngunit wala naman kandila
May Christmas tree na malupit
Wala naman dekorasyong pansabit
Sadyang ganyan ang aking buhay
Walang kasing tamlay
Ayoko sanang tumandang nag-iisa

Tatanggapin na lang ba ang malupit
Na tadhana o kaya'y
Tatanggapin na lang ba na ako'y
Sadyang hindi pinagpala?
Tigilan na ang drama
Punasan na ang luha